I don't know who the original author of this little poem is, or I would gladly acknowledge them.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! - Charles
The Turkey's Lament

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;

"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin..

"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,

"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,

And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,

And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;

But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........"

"Woman Who Has 300 Orgasms A Day Finds Man of Her Dreams"

This was an actual story posted on the Fox News website today. This story is out of England (surprise, surprise). It appears below, with my comments added in red.

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A woman with a medical condition that gives her 300 orgasms a day has found the man of her dreams after she wore out a string of boyfriends.


And she needs a man, why?

Michelle Thompson, who suffers from persistent sexual arousal syndrome, thought she was just too demanding for men and would never find the man of her dreams.

Not that she had much time to look.

RELATED: Never Satisfied - The Curse of Persistent Sexual Arousal

This usually occurs in teenagers.

But she has been with her neighbor Andrew Carr, 32, for the past six months and he's as keen for sexual intercourse as she is. They make love 10 times a day.

It’s not like he has to do anything…

"Andrew has changed my life. I'm no longer looking for a cure for my orgasms - I've found it," Michelle told The News of the World newspaper in the U.K. "Now I have a huge grin on my face all the time, and it's not just because of the orgasms."

Orgasm Cure: sex with a man.

Women who suffer from persistent sexual arousal syndrome experience spontaneous orgasms throughout the day, which may or may not accompany sexual activity. Many women describe the condition as debilitating and embarrassing.

Do ya think?

Michelle's rare condition means she always craves sex and can climax at any time.

Oh, come now.

She even had to quit a job in a biscuit factory because the machines kept setting her off.

Your not supposed to sit on them!
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I don't mean to make fun of this poor woman, but why would anyone consider this information to be "news?"

There enough things going on in the world to make us glum. We all need a change of pace, occaissionally.

Have a great day,
Charles

THE QUESTION


Over two decades ago a dad was standing on his back patio, taking in the beauty of a crisp fall day that was cool, but comfortable. As he watched the clouds gracefully slipping across the sky and the trees being caressed by the breeze, he was joined by his son, who was about seven years old. The two stood silently for some time and together enjoyed the peace and simplicity of this special day, with its bright blue sky and pure white clouds.

After several minutes of rare quiet the young boy gently broke the silence. He asked, “Dad, what color is God?” The dad’s mind reeled at the responsibility inherent in his answer. After all, his son was old enough to recognize that not everyone in the world was the same color. Anxiety gave way to a chilling fear, as he realized he would forever be held accountable for the way in which he molded his son’s character. The wrong answer may cause his son to develop the prejudice that he had worked so hard to eliminate from his own life. Even worse, it could skew the boy’s perception of God and forever taint his son’s ability to properly relate to his Heavenly Father. Quickly but silently, the dad prayed for wisdom.

Amazingly, the young boy did not seem bothered with the pause between his question and the dad’s response. The dad was very grateful for that. His amazement and gratitude multiplied when he suddenly knew just how to answer the question.

“Son,” the dad asked, “do you see the wind blowing through that cottonwood tree?” “Yes, I can see that,” replied the son. His dad said,“Well, that is the color of God. God is a "spirit" like a breath, and does not have skin like you and me, so you can tell where He is but you don’t really see Him; just like you can see the branches of the tree move and know the wind is there.”

Watching his son carefully and bracing himself for an even harder to answer follow-up question, the dad was relieved to see a smile spread across his son’s little face. Immediately following was a look in the boy’s eyes that told his dad that he understood the answer. That dad will never forget how proud he felt at that moment; Not proud of himself, but proud of his son – because he knew his son truly did understand.

11/11/2009: Happy 28th birthday Gabriel,
Dad